Single Awareness Day

So way back in my college days, this cynic coined the phrase “Single Awareness Day”. This phrase quickly took off as an alternate for Valentine’s Day. One of my dear pledge sisters and I still exchange Single Awareness Day cards and goodies.

Now don’t make the mistake of thinking that I celebrate the anti-Valentine’s Day by wearing black and totally “gothing out”. As much as I profess to be a cynic…there is a small part of me that still enjoys the contrived celebration of love. (Which is probably why I still subject myself each season to The Bachelor but that’s a subject for another blog.) As such, I still dress up in red or pink or a combination of both in celebration of the promise of Valentine’s Days to come.

Today I awoke with the annual dread of slogging to work only to be bombed from every direction with people professing their undying love and devotion to their spouses or amores on Facebook to seeing vases and vases of flowers coming into the office and carried around by every woman in a 50 mile radius. Ahh…me…ahh…life.

Instead I was greeted with the beautiful hyacinth to the left…given to me by my “totally rad” boss. Still wallowing in the glow of newly wedded bliss…the boss bought all the ladies in the office these beautiful flowers due in no small part to his “feeling the love” in his own life. Whatever instigated the show of appreciation and adoration…I’ll take it. It’s not often a single gal gets flowers on Valentine’s Day!

So Happy Single Awareness day to all my fellow “singles” out there! May 2012 bring you unexpected passion and joy…whatever form that comes in.

"Love is tough!"

Feb. Week 2

“Love is tough.” That’s what I learned last week during my tutoring visit to Northridge. As my group of 5 kiddos and I walked to the library I noticed a little hand shoot out from the girls bathroom along the way and hand Gregory an intricately folded note.

“What was that all about?” I asked.
“That’s Gregory’s girlfriend!” Christacia said.
“No! It’s my EX,” corrected Gregory.
“So what’s going on?” I asked with one eyebrow raised.
“Well, we broke up and she wants me back,” said Gregory.
“They’ve broken up eight times already this year," offered Lauryn. “And she’s YOUR color.” Which I took to mean she is white as opposed to Gregory’s being African American.
“Yeah, she cheated on me and I’m not sure I want her back, “ he said.
“She likes all sorts of guys. She’s a ‘ho’,” offered up Jake.
“Yeah…love is tough,” Gregory said with an exasperated sigh.

Aside from being completely entertained by this whole encounter, I was a little disturbed by what these 3rd graders are dealing with. When I was in 3rd grade I was still playing with dolls. Not Barbies (which I feel are the older girl’s doll) but baby dolls. I was riding my bike with my brothers and throwing rocks in the creek. Worrying about a boy “cheating on me” wasn’t even in my mental or emotional vocabulary. But children mimic what they see adults doing. I mimicked my mother cooking, baking, and generally “mothering”. These kids are mimicking their parents and/or care givers breaking up with spouses, lovers, etc. When did it become okay for children this young to be burdened with the yoke of break ups, deception, and heartache?

What does it say about us, as adults, that we unintentionally (or otherwise) burden our children with knowledge that is far beyond their comprehension? Do we forget that they do not have the life experiences that we have had? Do we neglect to offer them the same uninhibited, drama-free childhoods we had?

Earlier last week I found myself apologizing to a friend for not being more conscious of the language I used while on the phone with her. I didn’t realize her two young children were in the car with her and that I was on speaker phone. My parents did a wonderful job “watching their language” as we grew up. I rarely remember hearing my parents utter a foul word. Certainly NOT the colorful expletives my generation uses on a daily basis...not for impact but rather as daily adjectives. So sad.

I offer up that we, as adults, should take on the burden of being…well…adults. Let’s conscientiously limit the heartache our kiddos endure by thoughtfully limiting their exposure to situations, words, innuendos, etc. that are completely out of their realm of understanding.

Wouldn’t we rather see 3rd graders mimicking super heroes on the playground rather than the emotional drama they see at home? Let’s learn to respect our children’s childhoods and learn to close the door on adult situations.

February

Northridge Elementary

So this month I started volunteering at Northridge Elementary School. My dear friend, Mrs. Harstad, teaches 3rd grade and invited me to join her class every Tuesday for the month of February to tutor a few of her kids in reading. Thank God she picked something that I’m good in. I would have had to turn her down if she said she needed a math tutor as I fear that my math skills have possibly deteriorated past the 3rd grade level.

Even though my mother has worked in elementary schools forever, it seems, I haven’t actually been in a classroom in ages. The first thing you notice when walking into any elementary school is the smell. The smell of sweaty little kids and lunch. Northridge Elementary is no different. Have you ever noticed that little kids have a very distinct smell of sweat, fresh air, possibly laundry detergent, and some mystery scent? It’s almost as if there is a special perfume…au d’elementary.

Lunch is a whole other story. No matter what they are having, whether it’s mac and cheese and chicken nuggets or pizza…all school cafeterias smell the same. And that smell doesn’t change. I swear Northridge smelled exactly like Hall Halsell in Vinita, OK did when I was there 28 years ago.

My escort was an adorable little girl with a brown bob and glasses. She was quite the responsible little hostess and was very good at walking and conversing. I learned that she loved Mrs. Harstad and really liked math the most.

As I entered the classroom several little bodies shot out of their seats. Do you even remember the last time you got excited enough about something to “shoot out of your seat”? Neither do I. One little guy was so excited that he started to immediately peel off his jacket. Mrs. Harstad explained to me that she had told the children that we went to OSU together and that I now worked for the university and asked people for money. After I assured the children I wouldn’t be asking them for money the little guy in the back who took his jacket off informed me that he was a HUGE OSU fan. And indeed he was, as he was orange from head to toe. I’m not sure that kid could have found anymore orange clothing to wear.

I got my marching orders from Mrs. Harstad and headed to the library with my four students in tow. We spent the next 15 minutes planning a reading comprehension game. Right up my alley! After those 15 minutes we headed back to class where I picked up my next student. We returned to the library where she proceeded to read me a story about a dog who goes to obedience school. I was so engrossed in the story that we almost missed our time limit. There is something so incredibly relaxing about being read to in the middle of the day. I decided I’d be a horrible teacher as my class would simply read out loud all day long and probably never do any math.

Elementary schools across the nation are always looking for responsible adults to volunteer and help in the classrooms. You don’t have to be a certified teacher to help. You just need to be a caring, responsible adult with an interest in supplementing the education kids are getting in the classroom.

There are lots of other opportunities to help with after school mentoring or tutoring programs as well. I hope you would consider taking one hour a week to volunteer in a local school. It’s just your lunch hour. In the time that you would spend surfing the net, online shopping, or running to a fast food restaurant…you could be impacting a child’s education in the most positive way.